The health of your marriage determines the environment in which your kids grow up.

+ Andy Stanley (Choosing to Cheat)

Several years ago, I had the opportunity to hear Andy Stanley talk about cheating at work so that home can become your priority. I picked up a copy of that message on cd and have listened to it over a dozen times since that day. That was/is (hands down) the most defining sermon that I have ever heard as it relates to my family, my marriage, and my calling.

The book, called Choosing to Cheat, is also phenomenal.

I recommend it to every husband and father who loves his family.

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//rweaver//

Click here to view the embedded video.

I referenced another song about a hero of mine last week… I think it’s a question worth asking and a question worth your consideration::

• Who are some of your heroes?

(Dear Lurking Readers:: don’t be shy… many of you are silently lurking on my little blog in anonymity… time to ante up and tell us about the heroes who have impacted your life… break the silence… end the lurking… join the discussion…)

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//Here are a few of my heroes…//

+ Amanda Dawn Weaver (I love my wife… who also happens to be the most talented person I know… and I was in the room while she courageously gave birth to our two boys)

+ Kevin Weaver (my dad, my coach, and my favorite cancer-fighter)

+ Ludwig and Houstine Weaver (my grandparents, G-Dad and G-G, pastored for 50 years and have forged an amazing legacy)

+ Jeremy Higle (my cousin who launched a leadership institute called International Mountain Leadership Institute in Asia)

+ Bruce and Denise Kendrick (close friends who have fostered 25 children over the past 5 years and recently launched Embrace)

+ Barry and Desma Abbott (close friends who have moved around the world to plant churches among the Baka of Cameroon)

+ Thomas the Apostle (the disciple who doubted was also the one who said:: “let’s go so we can die with Jesus”)

+ Nolan Ryan (the Strikeout King, the greatest pitcher of all-time, and a hard working son-of-a-gun)

+ Coach Norman Dale (please tell me you know who he is without clicking the hyperlink…)

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//rweaver//

Our small groups at Remedy Church are called Remedy Groups. These groups exist as the very backbone of Remedy Church. These groups are where authentic community, growth, connection, discipleship, accountability, and transparent friendship occur for those who attend Remedy Church. These groups are missional (there are no “closed” groups at Remedy Church and the essence of our serve movement comes from the hearts of those in our Remedy Groups), relational (the strongest connections at Remedy Church are those which are forged over months of shared meals and shared lives), and holistic (containing elements that engage the whole person each time we gather).

Several months ago, Andrew Thompson (our Remedy Groups Pastor @ Remedy Church) brought a couple of insane ideas to me.

(SIDE-NOTE:: I absolutely love pastoring leaders who lead with the freedom to say phrases like… “this might sound crazy, but hear me out…” and “I know that we’ve never actually seen this modeled before, but…” and “I’m not sure how we are going to accomplish this dream/idea/goal, but…”)

One of those ideas was a semester-based Remedy Groups calendar that is message-focused. Andrew had read Sticky Church (by Larry Osborne) and Activate (by Nelson Searcy)… and he was ready to experiment with some of the ideas that he had picked up. We decided to experiment with it in our context. We moved all of our Remedy Groups to a semester-based system with three semesters annually (with at least a month off between semesters to give the leaders and hosts a short time of sabbatical and to give him time to re-group and re-tool for the coming semester). We also moved to a system where our groups are an “echo” of the weekly Sunday morning message. The conversation begins on Sunday mornings… and then continues throughout the week as people gather in homes and in the marketplace to discuss and seek the Heart of God together.

The second of those ideas was to place the celebration of communion as an integral part of our small groups. Andrew wanted EVERY SEMESTER at Remedy Church to close with the observance of communion. So we set out to create a format and flow of communion where seekers and believers could have a meaningful and transformational experience celebrating the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ together. Among the foremost questions we had to answer was about our approach and methodology regarding the holy sacrament of remembering. We value the collective (Sunday morning) celebration of communion… but we also place a high emphasis on remembering the sacrifice of Jesus in the small and intimate setting that our Remedy Groups provide.

Here are the three documents that we utilize in our Remedy Groups::

… REFLECT …

… REMEMBER …

… RECEIVE …

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//rweaver//

Nolan Ryan did it again.

The Hall of Fame inductee and winner of 324 career MLB games has won the ownership of the Texas Rangers.

I’m sure Mark Cuban would have been a fine owner of my FIRST PLACE Texas Rangers… but there’s no way that I would have preferred Cuban over Nolan Ryan and his ownership group. As I have said previously, some of my most-prized baseball memories are connected to Nolan Ryan… and I am absolutely stoked that he was able to acquire ownership of the Rangers.

Nolan Ryan and his group (led by sports attorney, Chuck Greenberg) won the auction for the Texas Rangers for $593 million… at almost the same moment that Michael Young hit a game-winning grand slam versus their AL West rivals, the Seattle Mariners … and on the 17th anniversary of Nolan’s mound-beating of Robin Ventura.

In this in-depth interview with Ryan he seemed exhausted and genuinely elated to be the new owner of the Texas Rangers… and he seemed to be relieved as he talked about the rollercoaster that this has been and his allegiance to the fans and his current employees in his first press conference post-purchase of the ball club.

Time for the Rangers to lock up the pennant and make a run for the World Series…

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//rweaver//

Not only is workaholism unnecessary, it’s stupid. Working more doesn’t mean you care more or get more done. It just means you work more… Workaholics aren’t heroes. They don’t save the day, they just use it up.

+ ReWork (Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson)

Your Creator does not define your life by your career achievements or the neatness of your pantry. And neither does He define life by the number of hours you spend with your family. There is no lasting contentment in any of those things. A temporary sense of satisfaction and accomplishment, yes. Contentment, no. Contentment is found neither in the marketplace nor the family alone. It is found when we align our priorities with His as it relates to both areas of responsibility ["work and home"]. There is nothing honoring to God about the workaholic who neglects his or her family. But the man or woman who refuses to provide for his family brings no honor to Him either.

+ Andy Stanley (Choosing to Cheat)

Hey you… (yes you)… don’t buy the lie…

(p.s. just in case perfectionism is your tweak of choice… go ahead and re-read this blog replacing “workaholism” with “perfectionism” as you go… these two leadership styles and life-styles will lead to the same result… true story.)

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//rweaver//

If the leader is exhausted, then the people following that leader will feel exhausted.

+ Bill Hybels (Pastor, Willow Creek in Chicago)

Never forget that people who follow us are exactly where we have led them.

+ Andy Stanley (Pastor, North Point Church in Atlanta)

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//rweaver//

A realization hit me yesterday… Ryland Von (my oldest son) will be starting his first year of school at the end of this month.

That seems utterly and completely impossible. My oldest son is about to be sitting in a classroom, and a cafeteria. Only a few weeks ago, I was holding Ryland in my arms with a giant beard on my face (a beard that probably weighed more than his tiny 6 lbs. 12 oz. body).

My oldest son starts school this month. And once that starts… it doesn’t stop until he graduates fourteen years from now. And if there is one bit of parenting advice (but really it’s more of a warning) that every parent and grand-parent has offered Amanda and I over the years, it’s this:: time moves too fast, cherish every moment.

As the father of two young men, it’s my job to maximize the teachable moments (vigilantly watching for moments of divine clarity in the midst of the fast moving “time”) and to live a life that accurately reflects my unchecked faith mixed with my honest humanity (never explaining away their doubts or painting a picture of super-spirituality… but helping them explore, engage, and grapple with new questions and dreams and doubts). It’s my job to call my sons into the community of men by leading them to live a faith that reflects the love of a God who has called them to adventure, beauty, and a radical, scandalous faith.

I read a blog by Rick McKinley (pastor/planter of Imago Dei in Portland) about the way that he has called his son (who recently turned 18) into the community of men. Here’s an excerpt from the blog (but you can read the entire blog here)::

We don’t have many clear [rites] of passage in our culture to help a boy know when he becomes a man. At 12 he can no longer order off the kids menu, at 16 he can drive, at 18 he can vote, at 21 one he can drink and somewhere in his mid-thirties, after working for several years we may assume that he feels like a man in the community… One of the things that Jeanne and I have always prayed for is that our kids would have specific people in their lives that would affirm our love for Jesus and help them on their own journey of faith. We have asked God to do something bigger in their lives than we could do on our own as parents. He answered those prayers…

It was Erwin McManus who wrote this parenting challenge in “The Barbarian Way”::

If our children are going to walk away from Christ, we need to raise them in such a way that they understand that to walk away from Jesus is to walk away from a life of faith, risk, and adventure, and to choose a life that is boring, mundane and ordinary.

I am the father of two young men. I have openly and fearfully accepted this challenge:: my first pastoral call is to “Dad-pastor” my boys. I am the father of two intelligent, passionate, and dangerous young men. I am the father of two young men who deserve a dad who is honest about his limits and struggles and doubts. I am the father of two young men who need a dad who is present mentally, physically, and emotionally.

My goal as the father of two young men is not to limit their baggage… because that would be parenting from a place of over-protectiveness and fear.

My goal as the father of two young men is to love my children and parent them from the center of my faith in God… and my faith in them.

My goal is to honestly live my dangerous faith in a living God beside my boys… not for them… not above them… but with them in the mess.

My goal as the father of two young men is to surround them with other men who are lovers of the One True God and Christ-following, dream-chasing, self-assured leaders in the community of men.

My goal is to love my wife in such a way that my two boys do not have to look far beyond their bedroom door to see a healthy model of marriage that gives them security in their manhood… and that propels them to (eventually) pursue the heart of a woman.

My goal is to tell stories from a divinely-inspired book in such a way that my boys will feel free to live like Jesus, fail like Peter, and doubt like Thomas.

My goal is to live a great story that proves a divinely-inspired book in such a way that my boys will feel compelled to live like Jesus, fail like their dad, and doubt like their dad.

I am the father of two young men named Ryland Von and Rance D… and I freakin’ love it.

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//rweaver//

Seriously… it will be. We will be seeking Truth in four songs on the Billboard Hot 100.

Here’s a sneak peak at the song I’ll be tackling on the first week of God on My iPod… currently sitting at #50 on the Billboard Hot 100… “If It’s Love” by Train::

Click here to view the embedded video.

Coming in September…

God on My iPod @ Remedy Church

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//rweaver//

Church planting is the process by which a new local church (that previously did not exist) is started/launched/established(MORE:: Wikipedia has a solid article on church planting methods and paradigms).

I can’t think of a better time to begin planting churches than in the very beginning with Remedy Church. There is no greater time to begin making this an essential part of our DNA as a local church. There is no greater moment for us to share and give away what we are learning than while it is still fresh in our hearts and minds. There is no greater time for us to begin the “sending out” than when we are still “being sent”.

My oldest son (Ryland Von) was 2 years and 8 months old when my second son (Rance D) was born. Some might think that it would be ridiculous for me to have asked my two year old to to help feed his little brother. But the truth of the matter is, there have been times when Ryland has been more in tune with Rance’s needs than Amanda and I. There have been moments when Ryland has recognized Rance’s needs quicker than Amanda and I because he is more sensitive to Rance’s struggles as an infant and a toddler.

Should Ryland be the primary parent for his two-year-old brother? Nope.

Can Ryland play a major role in supporting, and loving, and interpreting for Rance? Yep… and he does.

That’s the vital role that God has called Remedy Church to play in this next phase of our young church. We are an 8 month old local church in Salisbury, Maryland… and we will be tapping into our small (but growing) church planting savings fund for the first time to support Alan Tucker and Life Fellowship Church as they launch in Waldorf, Maryland.

Alan will be joining us at Remedy Church on Sunday the 29th of August with his family and his launch team to share his vision for Life Fellowship.

Let the planting continue…

The ultimate method of living dangerously and intersecting with others is to plant a new church. This approach releases and empowers people to serve as local missionaries sent out from your church for the express purpose of finding new people and establishing a church just for them. It is a challenging undertaking, but one filled with excitement and adventure for the entire church. Don’t be a dead-end church. Be a church that lives where the people are, multiplies itself time and again, dares to be different and is dangerously on mission for Jesus Christ.

+ David Jackson (Missionary for Church Planting @ the BCMD)

The vigorous, continual planting of new churches is the single most crucial strategy for 1) the numerical growth of the Body of Christ in any city, and 2) the continual corporate renewal and revival of existing churches in any city. Nothing else- Not crusades, outreach programs, para-church ministries, growing mega-churches, congregational consulting or renewal process will have the consistent impact of dynamic, extensive church planting. This is an eyebrow raising statement. But to those who have done any study at all, it is not even controversial.

+ Tim Keller (quoted from this article in 2002)

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//rweaver//

In the spring of 2009… I was working as the pastor to students at Allen Memorial in Salisbury. I had been a pastor to youth and families for over a decade. Amanda and I knew that God had called us to plant Remedy Church, and we were preparing to announce that to the entire world (at least that’s what the weight felt like). I was excited by this insane thing that God was asking us to do… and I was exhausted.

In the spring of 2009… I took a long bike ride on a Sunday morning instead of going to the church where I worked. I had taken the Sunday off to try to get a handle on my emotions. I needed to be away from my cell phone. I needed to step away from the pressure of performance. I needed to breathe. I needed to pray. And apparently I needed to cry on the front steps of an old abandoned church building.

In the spring of 2009… I found myself pedaling down a country road in southern Delaware, lined with tall pines and red oaks. And there it was… a white church building. Empty. With no cars and no people. No activity. Empty. The church was started in the 1700′s… and now that building hosts only one service a year: a reunion service for those who knew someone who used to worship God in that church building. There was a 9 1/2 by 11 sheet of paper that described when the next reunion service would be held. My headphones were still in my ears and Charlie Hall was singing some words… and the heat of the morning was growing. And I was alone on a Sunday morning… sweating and crying on the front steps of a building where hundreds (possibly thousands) of people had taken great lengths to gather with others in that very building to sing and pray and meet with God.

I sat on those steps for a couple of hours as the sun grew hotter. And then a truck pulled up. Come to find out, that old church building is now maintained by an amazing elderly couple who keep the old sanctuary preserved and mow the lawn around the building. They also maintain the rather large graveyard behind the building, in which most of the people that worshiped in that old church building are now buried. These two are now the last living “members” of that two-hundred year old church.

The prevailing memory that I have from that morning is this::

• If God wants a local church to survive… He alone will plant that church. If God wants a local church to thrive… He alone will grow that church. And Ryan Von Weaver is only one little guy.

If God wants Remedy Church to exist in Salisbury, Maryland… then it will be so. But not because a little guy planted it. And not because we have a building (or don’t have a building). And not because we survived and thrived for a couple of months (or a couple hundred years). And not because we had some buzz around the city and a funny slogan about butter that people remembered and laughed about. And not because we hoped and dreamed and prayed it would be so. If God wants Remedy Church to exist in Salisbury, Maryland… then it will be so.

What is the Church? People. Alive. Loving. Serving. Going. Being. Doing.

What was that Church where I stood that day? Dead. Gone. Empty. Memories. Graves.

In 2009… that old abandoned church building hosted two services. We were in pre-launch phase at Remedy Church and I decided to gather the leaders who were a part of our launch team together in that old church building where God had met me only a few months before. We talked about the history of that old building. We talked about the Church that used to gather in that building. We listened to the sounds of the old wooden pews and stared through the beautiful stained glass. We talked about the stories that would be told and the memories that would be shared at the reunion service later that fall. We talked about the history of God. We dreamed about the history that God would write upon our hearts and lives as the living and breathing leaders at a Remedy Church that didn’t even exist yet… except in the hearts of the people God had gathered in that old church building.

It was a beautiful time of worship and dreaming and sharing and praying…

and for a couple of hours that old church was alive.

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//rweaver//